Moving Beyond Comparison and Competition
Moving Beyond Comparison and Competition Into Self-Love and Acceptance
The journey begins with recognizing comparison and competition not as benchmarks of success but as distractions from our true paths. It’s easy to feel lesser in our own eyes when we measure ourselves against the polished images and accomplishments of others, whether that’s through social media, advertisements, or even the expectations of those around us.
Comparison
Comparison is the thief of joy.” I often share an analogy with friends and clients who find themselves ensnared in the web of comparison. Imagine you’re standing at a train station, awaiting the train that will whisk you away to your unique destination. Beside you pulls up a train gleaming with allure—equipped with the most comfortable seats, dazzling lights, and all imaginable luxuries. Meanwhile, your train hasn’t even arrived, or perhaps it seems modest in comparison. But here’s the thing: no matter how enticing the other train appears, it’s not headed to your destination. Your path—much like your brand, your craft, and the connections you forge with your clients—is uniquely yours. I’ve walked in those shoes, tempted by what others possess, thinking it might fill a void or bring a sense of achievement. However, true fulfillment comes from pursuing your own path, and embracing the journey that’s meant for you and your business. Letting go of comparison is crucial, for it frees you to move forward, following the route that’s authentically aligned with your vision and the experiences you wish to create. So, let’s focus on our own tracks, for that’s where our true journey unfolds.
Competition
I had always believed in the power of my photography to tell stories, to capture moments that spoke to the heart. Yet, seeing other photographers’ photos, likes, and shares on Facebook made me feel less than others. With every scroll, I felt a twinge of envy. Their success, measured in likes and engagement, seemed so much more than my own, making me question my talents and the path I had chosen.
One day, I paused on a photo I had taken—a simple, yet profound moment I had captured, one that had always resonated deeply with me. It didn’t have hundreds of likes or shares, but it was meaningful. In that moment of reflection, I realized how far I had strayed from what truly mattered.
I decided then to change my perspective. I began to focus on the stories I wanted to tell, the moments I felt compelled to capture. I embraced the idea that my photography was about connection, not competition.
As I look back on that period of doubt, I see it as a crucial turning point. It taught me that the only validation that truly matters is the one that comes from within, from knowing that I am pursuing my passion and staying true to my vision. The likes and shares? They’re just numbers. My real success is measured in the moments I capture and the stories I tell through my lens.
Moving Through It
Moving past comparison and competition to embrace self-love and self-worth is a transformative journey that requires intention, practice, and patience. Here are strategies to guide you through this journey:
1. Recognize and Redirect Your Thoughts
Awareness is the first step. When you catch yourself comparing your life or work to others, acknowledge the thought without judgment and gently redirect your focus to your own journey. Remind yourself that social media and external appearances often highlight only the successes, not the struggles.
2. Cultivate Gratitude
Start a daily practice of gratitude. Focus on the things you appreciate about yourself and your life. This can shift your perspective from what you lack to what you possess, fostering a sense of abundance and contentment.
3. Set Personal Goals
Define success on your own terms. Set personal and professional goals that are aligned with your values and aspirations, not with societal expectations or the achievements of others. Celebrate your progress towards these goals, however small.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Recognize that perfection is unattainable and that mistakes and setbacks are part of growth.
5. Limit Exposure to Triggers
If social media is a major source of comparison and dissatisfaction, consider limiting your exposure. Fill that time up with things you enjoy doing like going for walks, hiking, painting, or writing.
6. Celebrate Your Uniqueness
Embrace and celebrate what makes you unique. Recognize that your journey, with its ups and downs, contributes to your distinctive perspective and voice. Your individuality is your strength.
Conclusion
If I can move past comparison and competition, I know you can do it too! When we practice self-love and self-worth every day we learn that it is not a destination but a continuous journey. Remember, the only person you are in competition and comparison with is yourself, no matter what society, social media or your neighbors next door want you to believe.
As you navigate your journey towards self-love and self-worth, remember that each step you take is a celebration of your unique story. A powerful way to honor this journey is through capturing moments that reflect your true essence and the beauty of your individuality.
Contact me today to book your session!
What Tom Segura Taught Me About Showing Up After 40
Last night, I went to see Tom Segura live with my boyfriend—and yes, he was hilarious. But honestly? The biggest thing I walked away with wasn’t just a sore stomach from laughing. It was a deeper lesson in visibility.
While everyone else was soaking up the jokes (and trust me, I was too), I couldn’t help but notice how brilliant his marketing is. Tom isn’t just a comedian—he’s a brand. He’s on Instagram, YouTube, podcasts… everywhere. And it hit me: this is what it looks like when someone fully owns who they are, shows up unapologetically, and allows themselves to be seen.
So here are the three big takeaways I want to share—especially for my fellow women over 40 who are starting something new, chasing a dream, or feeling stuck:
Stop Waiting to Be Perfect. Share the Journey.
There’s this idea that we have to wait until everything looks polished before we can share it. But that’s fear disguised as “standards.” Tom reminded me that people don’t connect with perfection—they connect with presence. They connect with the real. So if you’re working on a new business, a personal project, or even your voice… show the behind-the-scenes. Share the messy middle. Let people walk with you, not just celebrate you at the finish line.
Your Message Needs to Be Seen. So Show Up Everywhere.
Tom Segura isn’t successful because he hides his content in a journal. He’s successful because he shares it, everywhere. He’s not worried about annoying people—he’s focused on reaching them. If you have something on your heart—whether it’s a product, a podcast, a blog, or your story—get over the fear of being too much. Be everywhere your people are. Someone needs what you have. Don’t make them go hunting for it.
Be Authentically You. That’s What They’ll Remember.
The best part of Tom’s show? It felt like he was just talking to friends. He wasn’t performing; he was connecting. That’s what makes someone magnetic. And it’s a beautiful reminder that you don’t have to be louder, shinier, or cooler—you just have to be real. When you speak from your heart and own your story, you’ll naturally draw the people who are meant for you.
Ready to Be Fearless and Finally Show Up?
You don’t have to wait until everything is perfect. You don’t have to silence your voice or keep your dreams tucked away. You’re not too late, and you’re definitely not too old. Whether you’re starting a new business, sharing your story, or simply trying to reclaim your spark—this is your time. If this message spoke to you, share it with a friend, leave a comment, or better yet—start creating. Because your voice matters, and the world needs to hear it.
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Lessons For A Soul Led Life
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Leading with Humility with Brett Topham
When I sat down with Brett Topham for my latest Unwritten episode, I knew we’d talk about city politics, finances, and community resources. What I didn’t expect was how deeply our conversation would remind me that real leadership doesn’t always look like standing at a podium—it often looks like directing traffic in the cold, listening before speaking, or rallying or rallying volunteers for a food pantry. Leading with Humility with Brett Topham
A New Kind of Politics: Partnerships Over Partisanship
Brett’s approach to city government is refreshing. He doesn’t see disagreements as battles to be won, but opportunities for richer dialogue. “We get our best solutions when we get a variety of voices,” he told me. “It doesn’t mean we give up our values. It means we’re willing to listen.”
That mindset is rare—and it’s powerful.
He champions the idea of public-private partnerships as a way to move beyond tight fiscal budgets. Whether it’s the city pool, the taxi system, or the zoo, Brett sees creative problem-solving as a shared responsibility between local government, philanthropic citizens, and businesses.
“Let’s think in 5- or 7-year plans, not just next year’s budget.”
That long-term thinking stuck with me. In a world that’s often reactive and divided, Brett’s vision for collaboration and generational impact feels like a blueprint we could all borrow from.
“Be the Change You Want to See in the World”
It’s a phrase we hear often, but Brett lives it. Whether he’s volunteering with the Beyond Blessed Food Pantry or showing up at city finance meetings as a self-professed “finance geek,” his commitment to community shows up in both big and small ways. His career took him from Hyatt Hotels to trust services to managing investment portfolios, but the throughline was always curiosity, care, and a desire to make things better.
He came back to Baraboo not just to retire, but to re-engage.
Beyond Blessed: Leading with Compassion and Community
Brett’s weekly work at the Beyond Blessed Food Pantry might be what impacted me most. Every Wednesday, they serve around 700 families in just two hours—a staggering feat made possible by nearly 100 volunteers and a lot of heart. And what struck me most wasn’t the numbers, but Brett’s humility as he talked about it:
“I try to make their day a little better if I can. I guess you’d say that’s my ministry.”
In those moments, we’re reminded that real leadership isn’t always flashy. Sometimes it’s about waving cars forward in a long line, or offering a kind word to someone who’s struggling. Sometimes, it’s just about showing up.
Listen To The Episode Now
Ready to Be Part of the Change?
If this conversation with Brett stirred something in you, you’re not alone. We need more people who are willing to show up, speak up, and believe in what’s possible when community comes together.
And if you’re navigating change in your own life—whether it’s reinvention, rediscovery, or just the pull toward something more—I’d love to connect with you through the work I do.
💫 Portrait Sessions – I photograph women over 40 who are ready to feel seen, celebrated, and confident. If that’s you, let’s create something beautiful together.
🎧 Podcast – Unwritten is where I interview people over 40 who are rewriting their story—real, raw, and full of meaning. You can listen here.
📝 Blog – I share reflections from the podcast and life, with stories meant to inspire, encourage, and remind you that you’re not alone. Read more here.
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Because your story isn’t over. In fact… the best chapters might still be unwritten.
Lessons For A Soul-Led Life from Amber Sweenor
If you’ve ever felt like you’re meant for something more—but weren’t sure how to get there—this conversation is your reminder that it’s possible to change, grow, and thrive on your own terms.
In this episode, I sat down with Amber Sweenor: leadership coach, retreat host, public speaker, musician, and author. Amber’s journey is a beautiful example of what it looks like to honor your truth and let your purpose evolve over time. She is the truth of lessons for a soul led life.
Authenticity Isn’t Just a Buzzword
For Amber, authenticity means aligning your values with your actions. It’s the art of living your truth, even when it’s scary or inconvenient.
“The true definition of authenticity is when your beliefs and values are in alignment with your actions.”
So many of us have spent years caring for others, building careers, checking all the boxes—and somewhere along the way, we forgot to check in with ourselves. Real authenticity begins when we do that inner work and start living with intention.
You Don’t Have to Hustle to Be Worthy
Amber shares how her own burnout taught her to shift from overachieving to aligned living. Whether it’s through journaling, being in nature, or carving out alone time, healing happens when we start to listen to ourselves instead of the noise.
Your Dreams Are Allowed to Change
What if your old dream no longer fits your new self? Amber reminds us that pivoting isn’t failure—it’s growth. Just because something once lit you up doesn’t mean you have to stay tied to it forever.
If You Feel the Nudge, Follow It
That pull you keep feeling toward something new? That’s your soul trying to guide you. Whether it’s speaking on a stage, leading a retreat, writing a book, or just saying yes to rest—listen. That’s where the magic begins.
Follow Amber Sweenor on LinkedIn or Facebook, and keep an eye out for her upcoming weekly YouTube videos. And if you’re craving deep connection, rest, and a renewed sense of purpose, her next retreat might be exactly what your soul has been waiting for.
Ready to Take Your Own First Step?
If something in this conversation sparked a yes inside you—whether it’s the desire to be seen, the urge to pivot your life, or simply the need for a reset—I want you to know you’re not alone. That’s exactly why I do what I do.
🌿 I help women reconnect with their truth and remember their power—through soulful photography, transformational retreats, honest conversations on my podcast Unwritten, and more.
✨ Start by:
Booking a portrait session that captures your strength and beauty—no filters, just you.
Listening to the podcast for real stories of reinvention and courage.
Joining my email list for upcoming retreats, confidence tips, and personal growth resources.
Because you deserve to be seen—not just for who you’ve been, but for who you’re becoming.
