Moving Beyond Comparison and Competition
Moving Beyond Comparison and Competition Into Self-Love and Acceptance
The journey begins with recognizing comparison and competition not as benchmarks of success but as distractions from our true paths. It’s easy to feel lesser in our own eyes when we measure ourselves against the polished images and accomplishments of others, whether that’s through social media, advertisements, or even the expectations of those around us.
Comparison
Comparison is the thief of joy.” I often share an analogy with friends and clients who find themselves ensnared in the web of comparison. Imagine you’re standing at a train station, awaiting the train that will whisk you away to your unique destination. Beside you pulls up a train gleaming with allure—equipped with the most comfortable seats, dazzling lights, and all imaginable luxuries. Meanwhile, your train hasn’t even arrived, or perhaps it seems modest in comparison. But here’s the thing: no matter how enticing the other train appears, it’s not headed to your destination. Your path—much like your brand, your craft, and the connections you forge with your clients—is uniquely yours. I’ve walked in those shoes, tempted by what others possess, thinking it might fill a void or bring a sense of achievement. However, true fulfillment comes from pursuing your own path, and embracing the journey that’s meant for you and your business. Letting go of comparison is crucial, for it frees you to move forward, following the route that’s authentically aligned with your vision and the experiences you wish to create. So, let’s focus on our own tracks, for that’s where our true journey unfolds.
Competition
I had always believed in the power of my photography to tell stories, to capture moments that spoke to the heart. Yet, seeing other photographers’ photos, likes, and shares on Facebook made me feel less than others. With every scroll, I felt a twinge of envy. Their success, measured in likes and engagement, seemed so much more than my own, making me question my talents and the path I had chosen.
One day, I paused on a photo I had taken—a simple, yet profound moment I had captured, one that had always resonated deeply with me. It didn’t have hundreds of likes or shares, but it was meaningful. In that moment of reflection, I realized how far I had strayed from what truly mattered.
I decided then to change my perspective. I began to focus on the stories I wanted to tell, the moments I felt compelled to capture. I embraced the idea that my photography was about connection, not competition.
As I look back on that period of doubt, I see it as a crucial turning point. It taught me that the only validation that truly matters is the one that comes from within, from knowing that I am pursuing my passion and staying true to my vision. The likes and shares? They’re just numbers. My real success is measured in the moments I capture and the stories I tell through my lens.
Moving Through It
Moving past comparison and competition to embrace self-love and self-worth is a transformative journey that requires intention, practice, and patience. Here are strategies to guide you through this journey:
1. Recognize and Redirect Your Thoughts
Awareness is the first step. When you catch yourself comparing your life or work to others, acknowledge the thought without judgment and gently redirect your focus to your own journey. Remind yourself that social media and external appearances often highlight only the successes, not the struggles.
2. Cultivate Gratitude
Start a daily practice of gratitude. Focus on the things you appreciate about yourself and your life. This can shift your perspective from what you lack to what you possess, fostering a sense of abundance and contentment.
3. Set Personal Goals
Define success on your own terms. Set personal and professional goals that are aligned with your values and aspirations, not with societal expectations or the achievements of others. Celebrate your progress towards these goals, however small.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Recognize that perfection is unattainable and that mistakes and setbacks are part of growth.
5. Limit Exposure to Triggers
If social media is a major source of comparison and dissatisfaction, consider limiting your exposure. Fill that time up with things you enjoy doing like going for walks, hiking, painting, or writing.
6. Celebrate Your Uniqueness
Embrace and celebrate what makes you unique. Recognize that your journey, with its ups and downs, contributes to your distinctive perspective and voice. Your individuality is your strength.
Conclusion
If I can move past comparison and competition, I know you can do it too! When we practice self-love and self-worth every day we learn that it is not a destination but a continuous journey. Remember, the only person you are in competition and comparison with is yourself, no matter what society, social media or your neighbors next door want you to believe.
As you navigate your journey towards self-love and self-worth, remember that each step you take is a celebration of your unique story. A powerful way to honor this journey is through capturing moments that reflect your true essence and the beauty of your individuality.
Contact me today to book your session!
You Deserve to Be Seen: A Conversation with Kelly Kendall
There’s something magnetic about meeting someone who just gets you. Kelly Kendall and I have more in common than photography—we both grew up on dairy farms, found our way into creative careers, and now use our cameras to do something deeper: help women feel seen.
In this episode, Kelly shares how her journey took her from 4-H in Minnesota to running her own photography studio in Prairie du Sac, Wisconsin. But it’s not just about location—it’s about transformation.
The Hidden Struggle Behind the Camera
Even as a photographer, Kelly admitted she didn’t feel comfortable being in front of the camera. Like so many women, she learned to pick herself apart in photos—zooming in on the things no one else would ever notice.
“I thought I just wasn’t photogenic,” she said.
But what she learned? That wasn’t true at all.
Kelly began to realize that her sessions were becoming more than photo shoots—they were experiences of reflection and self-acceptance. She even said they sometimes felt like mini therapy sessions.
It wasn’t about capturing a perfect image—it was about capturing a feeling. A spark. A story.
To face her own discomfort, Kelly turned to hypnotherapy. Through this deeply personal work, she was able to revisit childhood pain, old stories, and begin rewriting them.
“I gave myself the photo session I needed,” she said.
“No retouching. No Photoshop. Just me. And I loved them.”
That moment marked a huge shift in how she saw herself—and how she wanted others to see themselves too.
The Sacred Power of Portraiture for Women Over 40
One of Kelly’s dreams is to launch an “Over 40” portrait project—celebrating the real, radiant stories of women who’ve lived, lost, loved, started over, and claimed their worth.
We’re not just preserving their faces. We’re preserving their legacies.
Because as she beautifully said,
“Life doesn’t end at 40. In many ways, it begins.”
You Are Loved. You Are Worthy. You Matter.
The conversation closed with what felt like a universal truth—and a loving reminder to anyone who needs it:
You don’t need to earn your worth. You already have it.
You deserve to be seen, photographed, celebrated, and remembered.
Connect with Kelly at https://www.kellykendallstudios.com/
Ready to Step Into the Frame?
If this episode spoke to your heart and you’re ready to experience what it feels like to be seen—really seen—I would be honored to photograph you.
Whether it’s a portrait session to celebrate your journey, a branding shoot to show the world who you truly are, or you’re curious about my “Heart and Soul Portrait Sessions”, I’m here to hold space for you.
💌 Click here to connect with me and book your session.
✨ Let’s celebrate your story—the one you’ve lived and the one you’re still writing.
Because it’s never too late to be seen.
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Hey friend,
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about fear. Not the kind that jumps out at you in the dark, but the quiet kind—the kind that lives in your chest when you’re considering making a big life change. The kind that whispers, “Who do you think you are?” or “You’re too old to start over.”
If you’re a woman over 40 and you’ve been craving something new—something more aligned, more fulfilling—I want to tell you something I wish someone had told me sooner:
You are not too late. You’re just getting started.
For a long time, I let fear run the show. I thought I had to wait until I was “ready.” Until I had it all figured out. Until I knew for sure how it would turn out. But here’s the truth: you don’t get clarity before the leap. You get clarity because of it.
Fear Isn’t the Enemy. It’s Just Energy.
What I’ve learned—through years of messy growth, spiritual work, and a whole lot of midlife unraveling—is that fear doesn’t have to be overcome. It just needs to be felt, honored, and transformed.
When fear rises now, I ask myself:
Where do I feel it?
Can I take the story out of it?
What if it’s not fear… but energy waiting to be used?
And then I breathe. I choose something different.
Joy. Excitement. Curiosity. Expansion.
For the Woman Who Feels the Pull… But Doesn’t Know the Path
If that’s you—if you feel something inside that’s calling you to start over, to try something new, to finally do that thing you’ve been daydreaming about—I want you to know:
You are not broken. You are being called forward.
This chapter of life—this season of “What’s next?”—can be the most beautiful one yet.
Not because it’s easy, but because it’s real.
Because it’s yours.
You Already Know How to Be Brave
You’ve already done hard things. You’ve loved through heartbreak. You’ve shown up when it was inconvenient. You’ve raised humans. You’ve held people together. You’ve rebuilt yourself more times than you can count.
Now it’s time to build something just for you.
What I Want You to Know
You’re allowed to want more.
You’re allowed to pivot.
You’re allowed to leave what’s no longer aligned—even if it looks “successful” from the outside.
And you don’t need to be fearless. You just need to take one small, sacred step at a time—trusting that the path will meet you there.
💫 If this spoke to you, let’s stay connected.
Join my weekly newsletter for women over 40 creating a life that feels like themselves. We talk about growth, fear, truth, alignment—and the beauty of becoming.
Redefining “Go With the Flow” After 40
Are you facing a big life decision and wondering if it’s too late to change? You’re not alone. Many of us hit a point—especially after 40—when we realize the life we’ve built no longer fits. But here’s the truth: it’s never too late to start over.
In this blog, I want to share a deeply personal story about how I redefined what “go with the flow” means, and how I overcame the fear of change that kept me stuck for years.
The Real Meaning of “Go With the Flow”
You’ve probably heard it a thousand times: Just go with the flow.
To be honest, it used to drive me crazy. I had dreams, passion, and big ideas—and being told to just chill felt like an invitation to give up. But now, I see it differently.
Going with the flow doesn’t mean settling. It means aligning with your soul.
It means following the energy, the excitement, the curiosity. Abraham Hicks calls it “alignment.” Bashar says to “follow your highest excitement.” Joseph Campbell says to “follow your bliss.”
No matter how you say it, it comes down to one thing: trusting your inner compass.
Why We Fear Change (Especially After 40)
Let’s be real—change is scary.
We worry about money, stability, relationships, failure, judgment. We ask questions like:
What if I regret it?
What if I fail?
What if I lose everything I’ve built?
I asked myself all of these. I had a life that looked secure—a marriage, a home, a routine. But inside, I was exhausted, anxious, and spiritually empty. My body was sending signals through illness and burnout, but I kept pushing through… until I couldn’t anymore.
And here’s what I’ve learned: The fear of change is often just fear of the unknown. But when you step into the unknown with trust, that’s where transformation lives.
My Journey of Starting Over in Life
The turning point for me came after reading a book called Your Prince Charming Isn’t Coming. It shook me. I realized I had been waiting for someone else to save me, when what I really needed was to save myself.
So I made a terrifying decision:
I left my marriage.
I took a business class.
I moved. I created debt.
I started over at zero.
It wasn’t easy—but I found myself in the process. And now? My life is full of meaning, creativity, aligned relationships, and joy.
It’s never too late to start over when the life you’re living no longer reflects who you are becoming.
How to Begin: Small Steps to Follow Your Bliss
You don’t have to leap tomorrow. You don’t need a perfect plan. But here’s how to begin:
Notice what lights you up. Pay attention to what brings you joy, peace, or curiosity.
Trust your gut. That inner nudge? It’s your higher self guiding you.
Start where you are. Whether it’s journaling, taking a class, or having a hard conversation—every step counts.
Find support. Podcasts, communities, or people who’ve been there can remind you that you’re not alone.
Remember: It’s never too late. Your story is still unfolding.
Ready to Follow Your Own Flow?
If this blog spoke to you, it’s not by accident. You’re being called to something more—and I’d love to walk beside you.
✨ Book a Photo Session – Let’s capture the real you. The bold you. The becoming you. Book your session here
📝 Read More Blogs Like This – Head to the blog archive for more stories and soul-aligned inspiration. Explore the blog
🌿 Join Me at the Retreat – Need space to breathe, reset, and reconnect? Come retreat with me and other amazing women on a transformational weekend. Retreat details here .
Because it’s never too late to follow your bliss.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
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